First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...baby?

Right now it feels like everyone I know is either trying to get pregnant, is pregnant or has a new baby. And because babies are such a hot topic, I am often asked when Josh and I will start our family.

For many people this is a normal question that elicits a normal response. But for us, it's a little more complicated.

When I was growing up I assumed that I would get married and start a family the "natural way." But once Josh and I started talking about marriage, we also started discussing our plans to have a family, and based on the risks to my health because of my CMS, we decided that we would not have our own biological children. Instead, we decided that we would adopt.

This subject is extremely personal and I am at my most vulnerable when I talk about motherhood as it relates to my disability. But I am hopeful that by talking about it, it will lessen the ache I feel when the subject comes up.

The reality of my disability is that there are days where my maternal desire to bear children is almost suffocating, but then there are others where I remember that my biggest priority as a mother will be to make sure that I am as healthy as possible so I can be the best mother to our children. And if I were to carry my own child, I'm not sure how it would affect my long term health.

Part of this fear comes from an article I read a few years ago in Quest, the Muscular Dystrophy Association's magazine, titled "Pregnancy and Childbirth with Neuromuscular Disease" that included the birth stories of several women with muscular dystrophy. To put it lightly, it terrified me.

Every type of muscular dystrophy is different, but reading that article brought a thousand fears to my mind, and it still does today. Anytime I think about that article I get emotional. I am emotional not for just the women who had to endure such hardship to bring their children into the world, but I am emotional for myself, because until I considered motherhood, my CMS hadn't stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do.

But along with my sadness comes happiness, because in my head and my heart I know it's the right thing to do. Adoption is a beautiful thing.  We will be providing a home for a child who wouldn't otherwise have that option, and when I think of it that way, my heart swells with happiness and pride.

But perhaps the most comforting part is that Josh will be with me every step of the way. Biological or not, I cannot wait to see him in the role as father to our children. If the patience, love and affection he has shown to our friends' children is any indication of how he will treat ours, there is no doubt in my mind that we can make it through the emotional roller coaster that is parenthood.

Unfortunately, adoption is expensive and can take years to be finalized. And while we aren't ready to officially start the process, we have decided that 2014 is the start to our "research phase." We'll be taking this year to research agencies, attend seminars, discuss finances and interview anyone who has experience with domestic adoption (you, perhaps?).

So, there you go. That's my long-winded response to when we will be starting our family. It's not an easy answer, and it's probably not the answer anyone expects when they ask me that question, but for us, it's the right answer.