First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...baby?

Right now it feels like everyone I know is either trying to get pregnant, is pregnant or has a new baby. And because babies are such a hot topic, I am often asked when Josh and I will start our family.

For many people this is a normal question that elicits a normal response. But for us, it's a little more complicated.

When I was growing up I assumed that I would get married and start a family the "natural way." But once Josh and I started talking about marriage, we also started discussing our plans to have a family, and based on the risks to my health because of my CMS, we decided that we would not have our own biological children. Instead, we decided that we would adopt.

I'm back

After being silent for more than a year, I've decided to start contributing to this blog again. I am finding that as I get older and encounter new challenges associated with having CMS, I need to continue writing about it outside of my goal to walk a mile.

Until a few years ago I never thought that talking or writing about my CMS would be of interest to anyone. But now that I am in a new city encountering new people in new situations, I find that I'm having to explain my disability to a whole new group of people. And that has proven to be tricky at times.

When I encounter a situation where I need to explain my CMS, it's always a challenge to decide how much to share. Sometimes I want to talk about it, and other times I don't want to go into much detail so this blog is my way of providing the opportunity for others to learn as much as they want to on their own terms.

My goal for this blog is not only that it be therapeutic for me, but to also help others who might be living with a chronic disorder, as well as anyone who knows someone with a chronic disorder.

I plan to update this blog only as I need to. And I don't plan on promoting it on social media, so if you'd like to get regular updates please bookmark it or subscribe as a follower.

I hope you enjoy reading.

-Kelly 

ownership

Today I moved to the front of my yoga class.

Literally.

I put my mat in the front row and sat down.

So why is this worthy of a blog post?

Well, let me tell you.

I have been a regular attendee of Amy's 5:30 vinyasa class at Yoga on Yamhill for about 2 1/2 months now, and when I started the class was hard. And I mean hard. I would have to rest about three times over the course of the 75 minute class, drink a whole bottle of water and by the time class was over, I had sweated through my shirt and my hair was matted to my forehead and neck. The class was  an intense workout.

Now, 2 1/2 months later, it is definitely still a workout, but I have gotten noticeably stronger and can make it through more and more classes with little to no rest.

And that's a big deal to me, because no matter how much I tell myself that I don't care what other people think, it's still hard to know that other people can see me when I am wobbly and can hardly stand up, let alone do a downward dog. I am definitely self-conscious of that, and I have a feeling it will never completely go away.

I don't like that I am self-conscious about it because there's nothing I can do about how I look when I am tired. So as part of my effort I decided that instead of hiding all the way in the back corner like I usually do, that I was going to move my mat to the front of the class and own my CMS.

And I did. Sure, my legs got wobbly during Warrior II and runner's lunge, but did I care? Nope. I made my modifications as needed, and I made it through class without taking a break, and it was great. Maybe the guy behind me noticed my wobbly legs, or maybe he didn't.

I know that I will always be a little self conscious, but I think that by doing things like going to the front of the class and focusing on yoga above all else, that over time it will get better and better.

My One Mile Challenge

Welcome to my One Mile Challenge blog! This is the introduction of my 2010 goal to strengthen my legs so I can walk one mile without resting or assistance. One mile might not seem like a lot, but because I have Congenital Mysthenic Syndrome (CMS), a form of muscular dystrophy, it's actually a pretty big challenge.

The reason behind my interest in this is that Josh and I will be going on our honeymoon on January 8, 2011. We will be cruising through the Eastern Caribbean, stopping at several different ports. While a cruise probably seems very relaxing, I really anticipate there being a lot of walking, due to the large ship we will be on, and the excursions we will go on when we dock. So, I want to strengthen my legs so I can do all the walking I want!

I am hoping this challenge isn't completely out of reach. When I studied abroad in Oaxaca my junior year of college, I had to walk everywhere, and as a result, I increased my stamina. When I left, I could walk at least twice as far as I could when I arrived.

So, I hope you will follow my quest to walk one mile! I will be officially starting my challenge next Thursday, April 8. That will mark exactly 9 months from the date we leave for our cruise.

I anticipate I will need to be cheered on, so any words of encouragement you can provide me will be greatly appreciated!